Christel Broederlow
Empathy in Relationships: How to handle relationships, in particular being able to sense deceit on any degree and the coping required?
Being able to sense deceit, is a specific energy that generally comes with a punch, it’s what we do with it that determines the outcome. And we’re generally not wrong, unless paranoia comes into the picture, which is not impossible depending on the type of deceit experienced and how often it happens. Only the individual can determine the level of energy based on the specific deceit that has occurred and make a decision accordingly.
Learning to walk away from the situation whether temporary or permanently has to be weighed up, where as many would prefer that the person inflicting deceit actually acknowledged such and prevented further doing so, however we must be vigilant that is that persons specific lesson in life to figure out (if they ever do is not our concern), we simply cannot enforce that knowing and acceptance upon another person, they may very well be in a very different ‘space’ to us.
Our lesson is what we do with it when we sense that? Put up a no tolerance zone? Be more patient and understanding? Be forgiving and let it go, which can be a downfall, as we can constantly be doing so (forgiving) or even questioning self when it’s not our ‘issue or stuff’ to do so. Acknowledge that sometimes, some people simply do not understand what you do, are oblivious to what they do or ignorant to be precise. If we keep experiencing deceit in others or another person, we have to ask ourselves what the lesson in this energy (the energy of deceit) is teaching me. Ask it with the intention to get a direct answer.
Deceit can also come power-packed with manipulation, these two energies combined can have detrimental outcomes, as they can toil with not only ones emotions but also mentally (when someone is playing with your mind), again the person may know fair well what they are doing and others may have no real clarity at all. There are serious repercussions to the sensitive person when it comes to manipulative deceit and it is important to identify when this is occurring and try not to highlight this to the perpetrator so they can avoid doing such as that can have an even bigger fall out, but rather to address how you can deal with it better.
Where it involves family and if it is directed at you, then perhaps the need to draw the line is needed? Discussing tactfully to highlight certain aspects with the intention to have a resolution that it doesn’t happen again? Being aware and throwing caution to the wind here is important, because if it does happen time and time again then what are you going to do? Even within families we must learn to not cross boundaries of trust, love and respect and it’s the one area that this sadly doesn’t happen as often as it needs too, because we find some of the greatest challenges with our empathy is turned on and off like an overloaded circuit board!
What are you going to do about it? Can you draw a very clear line that you will not tolerate certain behaviour? And restrain yourself from being reeled back in only to endure again and again?
When we are confronted with deceit (or similar energies) repetitively we begin to feel our energy levels wax and wane like the oceans tide on a full moon push and pull and sometimes a mighty shove, it is in the latter that we must make a conscious decision to stop that from happening. After all, in our lifetime if we don’t look after ourselves, who will? We need to stop putting others ahead of our own well-being and come from a place of selflessness, be loving, kind and gentle to our self, and no we are worthy of giving such to others with great ease and in-turn accepting to embrace this within ourselves.
The only thing that is hindered from being repaired in a relationship can be our own heart and willingness to protect that and to accept we are worthy of better. Acknowledging and letting go can be extremely challenging for people with empathy, but it doesn’t need to be.
As the old saying goes, ‘We can’t pick our family only our friends’, yes that is true, but we can ultimately decide for ourselves what we will or won’t allow any of them to do to us and us to them. We are here to make choices, we can endure for a lifetime repetitive energies, or acknowledge their teachings, close chapters and move forward lighter, clearer without a ball and chain (of any emotional energy type(s) locked around our heart and mind.
Christel Broederlow
© 2014 The Universal Empath 101